


Let Go

by stxrrycxs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 Despair, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrrycxs/pseuds/stxrrycxs
Summary: prompt taken from my tumblr (transdeanactivist) postspn writers dumb as fuck for not realizing dean would race into cas’s arms and let himself be taken by the empty too. he’d hold onto cas with all his life and strength and love and he wouldn’t let go no matter how hard cas tried to push him or how much he begged him, sobbing into deans neck pleading for him to let go of him and live and dean shaking his head no and only tightening his grip, letting out a sob into cas’s shoulder as he feels the cold, black goo of the empty surround him and the angel in his arms but going soft as he relishes in the warmth coming from him before falling into an infinite slumber, dreaming of him for all eternity and leaving sam and jack to forever question what happened to dean winchester and castiel and never, ever finding out
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 92





	Let Go

“You changed me, Dean.” Castiel says with a broken voice, eyes wet with tears threatening to spill. 

“Cas, what does this have to do with..” realization hits Dean. “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” He’s hoping, no, praying that he’s not about to do what he thinks he’s going to do. The deal, true happiness…

“Because it is,” _No.._ “I love you.”

Dean feels his heart wretch. The whole world stops around him, the only thing he can focus on is Cas, Cas and the words he just spoke. The words that caused his lungs to stop working, his heart to stop beating, for a moment. He can’t wrap his head around what he just said. He heard them, but does he mean them? Is he imagining this?

He’s about to reply before he hears a wet sound behind him, making his blood run cold. Dean turns around and can’t help the tears that reach his eyes at the sight of what he feared, _The Empty._ He wasn’t lying. He meant what he said, both the ‘I love you’ and that it was a goodbye.

He turns to face Cas again, tears welling as he gulps. “Cas..” But the angel leans forward, Dean’s heart catching in his throat. 

The hunter’s mind is racing, unsure of what is about to happen, wondering of what it would feel like to kiss him, and if that’s what’s going to happen next. Castiel’s bloodied hand leaves a print on Dean’s shoulder, that damn shoulder. He gazes into Dean’s eyes before smiling sadly. 

“Goodbye, Dean.” He doesn’t kiss him.

Dean is thrown to the floor, shaking slightly from the sudden fall. He leaves a shuttered breath before looking up at Cas, smiling and looking forward to the Empty.

Not again.

The hunter rises to his feet, with legs feeling like jello, but still runs. He runs into Cas and wraps around him before the thing had the chance to get him, and Castiel makes a sound of confusion.

“Dean- Dean, _no-_ ” he sounds hurt, but Dean doesn’t care. Not right now.

Dean can feel Cas trying to pry him off, begging him to let go and to stop, but he still holds on his hardest. Part of him knows Cas doesn't really want him to let go, part of Cas wants Dean to stay so he doesn't die alone, part of Cas wants Dean to stay with him. If not, Cas would have been able to take Dean off of him already. The hunter’s powerless compared to him, he could rip him off of him easily.

“Dean no, please, you can’t.. you have to keep living, Dean, please...”

“ _Cas_..”Dean says softly into his neck, a small plea for him to just remain calm, to let him go with him. “please…”

Eventually the angel does stop, but with a sob into Dean’s shoulder and a tight wrap of his arms around him. The hunter smiles sadly against Cas, letting out a wet, shuttered breath once he feels the cold of the Empty curl around his feet, crawl up his legs and wrap around his torso, covering him and Castiel and almost encasing them together.

“I love you, too, Cas…” he feels the angel freeze against him before holding him tighter.

A hand is placed on the back of Dean’s neck, tips of Castiel’s fingers running through the ends of his hair, and the hunter smiles. They both give each other one last squeeze before feeling the Empty surround them  
completely, the only warmth being their own before there’s nothing.

The storage room is cold, empty, dead. No one there to keep it lively, no playful banter or Dean looking for old magazines. No Cas leaning against the wall as they chat. Just the blood of the fallen angel staining the cement floor and Dean’s phone laying astrew, a crack across the screen.

And after hours of silence, nothing, a ring echoes throughout the bunker, the buzz of the hunter’s phone. The caller ID reads “Sam.”

“ _This is Dean’s other_ other _cell…_ ”


End file.
